Impromptublogger

Happy New Year!

2012-01-06T07:59:00.000-08:00

This year isn't starting out great because I feel like I'm still in a holding pattern on a number of things. The waiting for a resolution/answer is driving me nuts and I'm feeling like it's not fair. I know I'm whining but I do wonder why I am going through this.

And today my stupid phone phobia was rearing its ugly head but thankfully I was spared having to make the call myself. I don't know why I am like that but I think my Dad was a bit too so I guess it is inherited from him. My mother on the other hand loved being on the phone and so does IG although for her it is text-messaging and Twitter.

Speaking of IG - she is doing really well. Mostly enjoying school - on the swim team, in the Arts Club, and also a civic group. Swim team is keeping her very busy and will for the next 6 weeks or so - depending on how far the team goes. But they are good - and last year placed 3rd in the county and it looks like they're doing as well this year too. IG has placed in a couple of meets - no 1st place yet but she just got over a really nasty sinus infection. And she is doing well in school - even in Math and Chemistry which does give her fits sometimes. She did just barely make Honor Roll last quarter which was her fault since she didn't turn in an English project which cost her a letter grade. She didn't make that mistake again this quarter so I expect she'll have a really good GPA - plus some of her other grades went up too.

Finances - let's just say they suck still. I can't pay off anything because we're still waiting for the check for the classes DH taught. His last class got a poor evaluation so I'm not sure he'll be asked back. But he is VERY busy until at least May/June with a lot of theater work so I'm not that concerned about it. But we won't see any money again until at least a month from now so it will be tough going once again. Argh.

On the Nature of Depression and Anxiety

2011-12-04T08:14:00.001-08:00

I was listening to an NPR show where Dr. Andrew Weil was the guest. He is a well-known holistic medicine doctor who is big into alternative medicines and natural remedies. He was saying how processed foods have increased depression in society and also lack of exercise and sun. He recommended that plus Omega-3 fish oil tablets every day. He says that yes anti-depressants do alter your brain chemistry permanently and can increase risks for other diseases. While I do like a lot of what he says - especially if the depression is mainly due to imbalanced brain chemistry.

But what if your depression/anxiety is due to REAL life situations - poverty, unemployment, debt, divorce, homelessness, etc.? I don't see how taking fish oil everyday is going to make your depression go away and you'll suddenly be able to conquer the world. Maybe I'm exaggerating a bit but he does seem to be that docs like him way oversimplify the causes of depression and other anxiety-related disorders. My dh has had real biochemical issues due to sleep disorders and chemically-related depression and there the meds have really helped. I went back on the Zoloft several weeks ago. And while it does flatten out my moods at this point it is a blessing. I am also taking anti-anxiety meds as needed. The doc prescribed Ambien but the several times I took it it only helped for several hours so I'm not sure it's the right one.

I also feel like this is my reckoning time - I am paying for all my past mistakes and sins so in some ways I do deserve to suffer a bit. I never seem to learn from past mistakes - although there are a few areas which I have. But some areas in life I seem to endlessly repeat the cycle. I am so grateful that IG is not like me - even though we may not have money for college for her I am confident that she will be going and will succeed in life. She also has a lot more confidence and self-esteem than I have ever had. I would have killed for all the friends she has when I was in high school and the fact that she has already had 2 nice boyfriends is amazing to me. You always hope your children will be "better yous" and in this case it seems to be the case. I am forever thankful that she did not inherit my Asperger's.

Time for Thankfulness

2011-11-20T12:30:00.001-08:00

I am trying real hard to be thankful despite my agony of all that occurred in the last year. We are all healthy (thank goodness after my hospital stay). I have a really good job where I am thought of highly and will hopefully be moving up more although that is a little scary too. We have a home, food, clothes and drivable cars. Despite our county education system's shortcomings IG is in a good enough high school to be able to get the advanced classes she needs and wants. And dh is getting steady work although the pay often doesn't come fast enough.

I have so many regrets - I don't want them to always get in the way. If I can get through the next 6 months I hope we will be in somewhat better shape financially - between paying off some medical bills, some bigger paychecks, tax return and hopefully another generous bonus.

My Inner Demons are "Demoning"

2011-11-13T09:20:00.001-08:00

What horrible combination of genetics caused me to be wired this way? Is it the family history of depression, my childhood Asperger's or all of it together. We not about to be put out on the street. Yes we up to our eyeballs in debt and because of a few medical bills have even been getting some debt collector calls - something I have NEVER experienced. But we are expecting some big checks to come in - even though they may take another month. And yes I will (75%) probability have to sell some more stock to get through this difficult month. IG is starting swim team this week and that will be at least another $100 - $50 for athletic fee and $50 for swim team suit. Still no new stove in sight. :-(

But my morning anxiety attacks are particularly bad again. And the ativan doesn't seem to be as effective right now. I am trying to make bargains with myself to hang on. No, I'm not on the Zoloft anymore - I was made to go cold turkey in the hospital and I never had any withdrawal effects that time so I decided to just stay off of them. I have not really noticed any differences either.

I am praying that I can continue hanging on. I don't feel like I have a lot of support. That's the problem with being a loner with a very small family. Dh is trying but his empathy meter is rather low and he seems to never let go of past issues. I know that's a maturity issue on his part although I guess my coping skills (or lack thereof) are all about the immaturity. If other people can pray that I can hang on too it would be appreciated. I am in a very bad way right now.

Ship Me Off to the Poorhouse!

2011-11-09T10:00:00.000-08:00

I was watching one of those Halloween-type haunting shows - although they show them year-round this one was during the Halloween sweeps week. They were showing scenes from a poorhouse somewhere that I don't remember.

I was thinking that if I was alive then that we'd be shipped off to one of those places. They were of course horrible places where the castoffs of society were sent to. Many people died there of suicides and disease.

Speaking of TV I am thinking we will most likely decide to turn off the FIOS TV in one small cost-cutting measure with many more to come. I am going to miss TV as without the the FIOS we get zero TV reception (we live in a valley). But I think we all can live without it - especially since IG has now become a voracious reader. Plus we will still watch things via Netflix and online streaming.

The Great $40,000 Question

2011-11-04T08:01:00.000-07:00

Yep - that's how much we owe on the credit cards. Hate me, loathe me, pity me - call me one of those irresponsible idiots who has helped drag the economy down the tubes by not living within my means. I am guilty of it all and admit it. I have a few reasons why some of it happened but in the end I abused the cards and now there is not much left on them.

I have still not talked to dh about what the credit counseling agency guy proposed - he just got back from NC on Sunday evening and has either been working or recovering from the trip. I am hoping tonight we can finally sit down for a little bit. It won't be pretty and unfortunately he is good at laying guilt trips on me but not talking about any solutions. We both have our own immaturities on this but he has never been able to move past some of the events that happened earlier. This is not constructive and only delays any real action or decisions. So we'll see.

We've run out of rich relatives although I could possibly borrow from my cousin - they are extremely well off although I expect even they were hit by some of the real estate fallout in CA as my cousin's dh owns a few apartments out there. While we can keep going for another year or two - especially if I cash out that fairly unproductive 401K which I expect I'll have to early next year the point is that this is all unsustainable. And if we have any big expenses - car repairs, household disasters then I don't know what we would do.

I guess I have to face facts that one way or the other we'll be taking a hit to the credit rating soon. If anybody is reading this, please pray for us. It is eating me alive and I am barely making it through each day. I know I have a lot to be thankful for - my health, a great good-paying job, a roof over our heads, a healthy family and a husband who at least contributes some to the family income. But the problem is that it's never been enough.

Kinda Hating Myself Right Now

2011-10-20T17:02:00.000-07:00

Knowing it wasn't just me that got us into so much debt, but the Suze Orman in my head is certainly yelling at me right now.

The visit to the credit counselor was semi-disappointing. The debt repayment offer he made wouldn't be much of a savings monthly although it would be paid off in 5 years. But those credit cards would be closed, the interest rate on one of the cards wouldn't be much lower than what it is now (could that be negotiated?) and while it is supposed to be non-profit I didn't totally like it. I know I'm an idiot financially but this didn't seem totally right but I need time to think and with dh going off to NC to teach a class tomorrow it's not going to be discussed until he gets back - we don't have the time to talk about this. I was also a little pissed in that he said he'd send me the information - but the details don't get released unless we agree to do this to start with. No thanks right now.

Followup to all this

2011-10-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

Well, he did teach the class last week and I guess it was mixed results. They do want him to teach the NC class next week. I had 24-hr stomach bug so I wasn't exactly up to par myself. But it's been a rough couple of weeks at work recently due to changes in schedules.

I finally worked up my courage (and swallowed my pride) and called the credit counseling service last week. I already have an appointment for Thursday. I am praying they will be able to help but again, I am not feeling super hopeful about that or anything. I have been feeling totally alone these days again - and miss having some sort of family support. I hope I can get through the session without making a total fool of myself as I am constantly in tears these days.

Mama Needs a New Stove

2011-10-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

So the old stove started malfunctioning last December - one of the burners disconnected from its base and then the heating coil in the oven snapped. Since I always hated that stove to start with I thought it was the perfect opportunity to get a new one. I looked at used ones and then a good friend offered a very old one free. I was in love with it even though it was ancient. It had everything the old cheap one lacked - an oven window and 2 large burners. Well, due to its' age it is now dying too - the oven/broiler switch won't come on and the front burner now won't either so the electrical system is dying. (waaahhh)

So I was already to buy a new one - just got my very generous bonus. Which I used some for outstanding medical bills (of which I still have many). But the rest I had reserved for the stove. Then dh's car needed a new sensor ($297) gone. And he needed to buy some software so he can possibly teach a class - which looks like that will probably be happening ($200). So there's the $500 I was reserving. So while I could pay for it it would put us very near the edge and if I can at all help it I won't take anything out in savings for this. The end is near on that as I had suspected last year and I will be having to sell an only semi-productive 401K soon. Although I still need to call the consumer credit counseling this week but work has been totally out of control right now.

BUT if the teaching gigs work out then dh will actually be making larger chunks of change (in addition to the theater work) and maybe, just maybe we can start to dig out of this hole. We owe a dear, dear friend of ours a large debt of gratitude if it all works out as he referred dh for these teachings. The first one is Thursday!

A New Year, A New Me?

2011-09-28T05:32:00.000-07:00

It is almost the end of this horrible crappy year - Rosh Hashanah starts tonight at sundown thank G-d. I am praying and hoping that 5772 is a much better year as everything seemed to fall apart last year at the start of 5771.

I start the new year wiser (I hope) and a lot lot poorer as we pretty much did wipe out our savings last year. This has caused great stress to the point it is making me sick. I think I will take what could be a drastic step - to contact National Consumer Credit Counseling. Some debt relief is needed as we cannot go on much longer. As it is I will probably be selling a lesser performing 401K in the next month or so. I feel like I am alone in all of this which makes it doubly hard but I made my bed so now I have to lie in it.

She is really thriving this year - in spite of the high school not being a top one it is one of the better ones in the county. She is taking advantage of the honors classes and next year will be taking lots of AP classes which thankfully the school offers. She seems to love school and loves a challenge. She is getting involved in lots of activities which I am thrilled about and seems to be trying to do everything right. She doesn't mind if people think of her as somewhat nerdy or geeky. She has a nice boyfriend who isn't too clingy or needy and they seem to be working out okay for now.

Job is going well to although now I've gone from famine to feast and am pretty swamped for the next couple of months. If anybody is reading this - please pray for me as I need all the good wishes I can get.

Well, it was inevitable...

2011-09-21T13:30:00.000-07:00

It's The End Of the World As We Know It

After 30 years they deserve the break. And while they did promise to be around at the beginning of the 21st century, they never promised much past it.

Still, RIP guys. You'll be missed.

As for my other musings

2011-09-15T08:17:00.000-07:00

I have become fairly disillusioned about the economy and Obama lately. I was always a staunch supporter but there is definitely things going behind the scenes that mean the economy will not turn around. Granted perhaps the GOP set him up for failure and want him to fail so they can get the presidency back. But it seems like he blew the chances he had. When it was clear that the jobs weren't coming back as fast as they should have 6 months ago he should have moved on it then. Of course we were dealing with government shutdown and then the whole debt ceiling debacle. But somehow while he's not weak ala Jimmy Carter he has not capitalized on his strengths and only his weaknesses lately have been highlighted. But the GOP alternative is even more disastrous. Perry will probably win the nomination and have Romney as the VP. I'm not sure enough of these evangelical types would accept a Mormon as President.

However, a question I have been thinking about in the whole grand experiment that is a democracy. Are we now "not too big to fail" but "too big not to fail?". This is the largest democracy that has ever existed - the population does keep growing. And none of the other large countries (China, Russia, India) are true democracies. Now India is parliamentary system with democratic underpinnings but even as the country there is growing there is still widespread poverty and corruption. The government is not trying to preserve a middle class - it is growing on its own. And I don't believe they have things like labor unions or worker's rights there at all. How big can a country and it's legislature get before it's unsustainable? Congress is larger than it has ever been so it is no wonder they are so sharply divided.

Get off your butt already!

2011-09-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

No not you - me! And I'm not talking about exercise either. A makeover is needed but not a physical one but a financial one. The end is in sight for our savings and the credit card balances don't get any better. Every time I think I make progress we end up with one more catastrophe - (new car tires, new refrigerator, vet bills etc.). So I think this weekend I will finally start the process of setting up a meeting with Consumer Credit Counseling to see about getting the credit card payments either lowered or eliminated. That is what is killing us these days. I am now making a decent salary for this area. Hard to believe that 5 years I was making almost 20K less. I am eternally grateful to the company I work for now and the management. As hard as it can be to be a govt. contractor as opposed to a federal employee where I work things are good. I am not worried about my job stability and trying to make myself invaluable over the years has helped. Not that I truly am (nobody is). but there are people here who do depend on me.

As I said our (as really my) savings are almost gone- maybe another month or so left. Hard to believe how much we once had when I sold my Dad's place but years of not enough income and pretty much being the sole breadwinner has taken its toll. Then the whole NC incident depleted most of what was left that might have lasted at least another 2-3 years. I have less than 2 years left on the car payment, and about that much on the student loan (which is less then $2K now anyway) and I might have squeaked by. But now no way.

I also have another crazy idea as we clearly cannot afford the house we're in. Being as it was built right after WWII - it has horrible plumbing and electric - all the floors need to be replaced and I think we now need new gutters. Not to mention just an overall makeover. Since we're not virtuous enough to win "Extreme Makeover Home Edition" I think perhaps we need to fish and cut bait. But the problem is how. I'm not willing to totally ruin my credit rating by not paying the mortgage and we're not underwater at all - don't really owe that much. But there is a development company in the area that has torn down several existing old homes and put up new ones. I am wondering if they might be willing to buy the house for less than it's assessed worth so they can do it there too. It is a sweet little house with many good memories but it is just to much for use to handle as dh isn't a handy sort of a person. Then we could move to a rental in a better school district. I really really hate moving but there it is.

I survived the Great Virginia Earthquake of 2011

2011-08-24T06:12:00.000-07:00

New School Year already

2011-08-17T14:03:00.000-07:00

Impromptugirl is starting 10th grade next week. She has a very challenging schedule but I am hoping that she will be up to it. I think she will enjoy most of her classes but I am worried about her math - Trig/Pre-Calc. She just barely squeaked through Geometry and really didn't get the concepts. A few friends of ours can help so we may start with them if she runs into problems but ultimately we may need a tutor. She is like me in that either she gets a concept or is totally clueless. But it is fun with her to watch the lightbulb go off. That is what happened with algebra and linear equations. Once she understood that it doesn't matter which side the variable is on - everything clicked. She really is a bit of a math and science geek (comes naturally by it) so it is fun to watch if she is enjoying those classes. She did very well in Honors Biology last year - A's throughout no matter where so I am hoping she continues this in Chemistry. I did a quick Google search of her Chem teacher and he looks like a good one! At least Math is everyday and boy will she need the reinforcement. The good thing is that on her A day classes her 1st period is Crafts so she will have time to wake up before getting into the harder stuff. Math isn't until 3rd period which may be after lunch. She does like school and has always needed to be challenged otherwise she gets bored.

I am hoping for a very uneventful Fall and school year this year, unlike last year. I have enough to worry about with all the financial problems going on with us. I may be headed to Consumer Credit Counseling pretty soon.

Things to be thankful for

2011-08-04T12:26:00.000-07:00

We've had a stressful summer with the last thing the fridge deciding to be gasping its final breaths. With the 100+ heat wave we've had the power company has been messing with the power coming into the house. I guess with the surge in electricity needed they were fooling with the wattages or something. When that happens our fridge goes on strike as it was built in the early 70's. Now we've had that happen several times before, but it only lasted 5-6 hours tops. This last weekend the fridge was conked out for 2 days! This obviously can't go on. I looked at and almost bought a used fridge but it didn't work out. Buying on Craigslist for fridge is totally impractical since we would have to hire a mover anyway. And while it is artificial we do have space restrictions. So we ended up going to Sears and buying their cheapest model. Turns out it is very popular these days (maybe due to the economy?) so we won't be able to get it until end of next week (sigh). Praying that the fridge holds out until then. The freezer froze up immediately but the fridge part took over a day to completely cool down again and still seems to be running constantly. Not good. So while this takes another hit to the credit card it is a necessary evil. This doesn't help in trying to pay the hospital bills and outstanding medical bills we've got. September bonus can't come soon enough.

So in light of all that I guess I'd better show some thankfulness:

1. In spite being in debt up to our eyeballs, I've still got a good job, dh is working steadily although he does get frustrated in trying to get something more than just show by show work.
2. Impromptugirl seems to be over her heartbreak and while it looked like she was going to start going out with this one boy I wasn't thrilled about that ended before it ever really began. If she is as picky selecting boyfriend #2 as she was in picking out #1 I will be happy. I can imagine her going out with one of the geeky intellectual guys at school this fall. School is in only 2 1/2 weeks!
3. Speaking of Impromptugirl - she is still quite the reader. She is on about her 3rd or 4th book this summer. While not even close to what I used to read this is quite the improvement from years before. I had to laugh to myself as she described hanging out at the local Mickey D's with her friends and being bored enough that she was reading at the table... Guess she is starting not to be afraid to let her geek flag fly... ;-)
4. Echo really is calming down. 2 years is definitely the magic number for most dogs. We can now leave her out of the crate if we're gone for a long time. I still wouldn't trust her for a whole day but she is much much improved.
5. Lastly and maybe not least I am about 95% recovered now from the surgery. My strength is back, I don't seem to have any problems eating anything which some people do after gallbladder surgery and the itchiness is much better.

Lies the medical profession tells you

2011-07-19T13:08:00.000-07:00

1. If you have laparoscopic surgery of any kind, you will be up and back to work easily within a week. Now the surgeon did say it can take 1-4 weeks. But he was the only honest doc there!
2. There are people who do not have sensitive skin for whom itching is only a minor problem. But for those of us who do - 6 weeks out and if my main incision scar gets warm at all I am still very itchy. And I still can't wear clothes with tight elastic waistbands or tight waistbands period. Some of it may be my age but I feel like I've always been like this.
3. Not being honest about surgery complications - no matter how minor. Because they pumped air into my abdomen to perform the surgery, some of the excess traveled up to my right shoulder. That morning, it started spasming when I tried to lie on it. First nurse just acted sympathetic and gave me more painkillers. Regular doc was sympathetic but not helpful. Gastro doc on rounds told me he could give me a muscle relaxant but said not 1 word that it was from the surgery. Only doc to tell the truth - the awesome surgeon! That night the nurse on duty told me it was actually a common side-effect from surgery. I was frankly pissed with them all. Yes it cleared up within about 3 days but for those 3 days I couldn't even sleep on my right side.

Not a lie but a big thank you to the surgeon. He was sort of an "anti-House". Not arrogant, fairly laid back and had the best bedside manner of all the docs I encountered there. I don't know if he was a rare bird but I am very grateful that of all the docs there he was the best since he was the one that mattered the most. I was also happy to see that the hospital I was at was rated one of the best in the DC area for gastroenterology. While he is a staff doc I would recommend him to anybody.

They say all good things (and bad) come in threes....

2011-06-11T13:35:00.000-07:00

While for me that hasn't been true for really catastrophic events (such as last fall) but May sure gave me my three bad ones. The saying in German is "Alle gute Dingen kommen in drei" (schlecte auch).

Mine were:

IG breaking up with boyfriend. I had seen it coming for a while as they were squabbling a lot and considering how harmonious they used to be.... Both of them have some growing up to do and while IG has been heartbroken she has not been sitting around the house moaning feeling sorry for herself (except for maybe the first week).
My Maxie's passing. And on Echo's birthday of all days. It is almost a month now and of course I miss him terribly. While brings me to #3...
My birthday was relatively uneventful. While not a bundle of mirth and enjoyment as it was on a Saturday I took it pretty easy. It was really hot so I didn't feel like doing much so I didn't. However, on Sunday night at 11:45 I woke up suddenly in severe pain. Dh took me to ER where it was determined it was gallstones that had irritated my pancreas. Once my pancreas calmed down (which it did pretty quickly) the gallbladder was going to have to be removed. It did that Wednesday and on Friday I went home. This last week I've been slowly recovering. Every day is a little bit better. I am still a bit shellshocked by it all as I've never actually had major surgery before. My first roommate there was a dear and we had a good time together. But as is inevitable with karma I paid for it with the 2nd roommate - luckily only for a day when I got released. I went to work Thursday and Friday each for a couple of hours and hope on Monday to go back to full-time.

So now I've had my 3 bad things I am hoping either June or July will bring 3 really good things. June has been pretty slow and being G-d's way of telling me to keep taking it easy the Spyder got a flat tire so I'm stranded at home today. I am trying to get off using Percocet even though I still get pretty sore. Only the big incision area is still a bit tender and that is going down too. The sterile strips for the other two spots have now come off - luckily it was a laporascopic procedure.

Sadder than sad, Bluer than blue

2011-05-20T12:35:00.000-07:00

To coin a phrase. We were devastated this week by the loss of our beautiful old dog Max. He suddenly developed a herniated disc in his back. This was on a Sunday morning. Took him the emergency vet clinic where they told us the surgery would be $4-6K, with no guarantee that it would work and he would require lots of care. Even if we could have afforded it, we couldn't stand to see him suffer so we let him go.

I miss him terribly and luckily work is slow right now because I keep getting all teary-eyed at work. Thank goodness we still have Echo. It hasn't hit her yet that Max won't be coming back.

Maxie you were the greatest creature in the Universe and we love you so much.

RIP Max - July 31, 1996-May 15, 2011

On Japan and nuclear energy

2011-03-14T08:41:00.000-07:00

For years I've been against nuclear power. For a number of reasons. France seems to be the only country that is capable of handling nuclear power plants. I 've not heard of any mishaps there - or if there is they are only minor. The reasons against nuclear power are many. The biggest to me is human error. I don't care how automated a plant is, or how many safeguards - unless you can entirely eliminate human error then it is just too dangerous.

On top of that I am a little incredulous that Japan has so many plants when they are right on a huge fault line. I mean what were they thinking? Again, it is a matter of unless they could have had backups after backups for generator power then it seems unbelievable to me that they could have built them right on the coastline nearest the fault lines and tsunami damage. And when they do fail the costs are so astronomical as compared to a traditional coal-fired or water-generated plant that it is just not worth it - they're estimating $35 billion in damage. And with Japan getting 1/3 of their power from nuclear energy it will be years before they'll recover economically.

So in a line here are the reasons why I have always opposed nuclear energy:
1) Always possibility of human error no matter how many safeguards.
2) Costs of building, maintaining, and decommissioning a plant is in the billions.
3) What to do with the nuclear waste - they've been arguing for over 20 years where to put in our country. Where do they dispose of it in Japan?
4) Things like 100 to 150 year earthquakes. While probabilities are low when they DO happen it pretty much destroys any financial advantages to nuclear power. And with radiation leaks like now the "cleaner" advantages more than get minused out.

Now that we have more alternative sources than ever (wind, solar) - we should take advantage of that. I hope that Japan will realize that nuclear is not the way to go and they should go straight and do not pass go to those alternatives. They already have the right ideas with their high-speed trains and cars like the Prius so they just need to take that to a higher level. They could end up being the most energy-efficient country in the world if they show some dedication. I pray that there will be no more major earthquakes there (that does sound doubtful) and that they recover quickly.

Decided to delete some items

2010-09-29T10:52:00.000-07:00

I am already having these things in private sections on FB and thought perhaps it's overkill. While I am in a deep personal, family crises right now this blog is better kept with better items. However, prayers and positive thoughts for me and my family right now will be welcomed.

On the nature of G-d and spirituality or a happy medium

2010-09-23T13:23:00.000-07:00

After my decision to leave our temple I was feeling fairly cynical about religion in general and even my belief in a higher power. Of course, like most people when there are hard times you tend to revert back to old belief systems. As far as the temple, I know it's not them it's me as I don't do well in large social situations (my Aspie tendencies again). Some things I don't think you totally outgrow.

But I do think there is some sort of higher power out there - however I'm not sure whether praying for a particular thing is really worthwhile - how does G-d listen to that level of detail and does he really care when there is so much going on in the world. Perhaps as a friend of mine does is to ask for light to come and positive energy. After all, isn't that what G-d is anyway? So perhaps that is the happy medium.

Maybe the recession is starting to ease?

2010-09-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

Very anecdotally but I know of 2 people who are going to be starting new jobs soon - one in my area (suburban MD) but one in Ohio which was hit particularly hard by the recession. Now I know 2 jobs aren't much it shows that maybe things are going to get better soon. I haven't heard of anybody getting a new job in ages!

It is amazing to me...

2010-09-14T06:46:00.000-07:00

how many dead blogs are still up in the blogosphere. I love to move around and it seems like half the blogs haven't been touched in at least 6 months. People just delete them!

In other news nothing much else going on. We had a scary incident on Thursday night but Echo (and to some extent IG's boyfriend) saved the day. Boy can she be a pain in the butt sometimes but overall Echo is a very sweet dog who seems to be earning her keep more and more.

Weather has finally turned beautiful and I can breathe!

No easy solutions

2010-09-08T10:55:00.000-07:00

I was shocked to read in the latest polls that people now trust Repubs to fix the economy. Huh? Isn't it them that got us in this mess in the first place? And maybe Obama's campaign was a little too overoptimistic but how people expect 8 years of us getting into this to come out of it in less than 2-3 years is unrealistic. I know it doesn't help unemployed people right now but this was the worst economic meltdown since the Great Depression.

As for the stimulus - I hear so many people say it didn't work. Well, if you think 10% unemployment was bad - how would you have liked 12-13% (or more)? So much of this came from systemic problems with deregulation and/or ignoring regulations that the fixes are way deeper than normal. There are so many things this admin has done that doesn't get attention - like giving back the EPA and other regulatory agencies some backbone and since people don't read anymore it really doesn't get publicized.

I just hope the losses this fall won't be as bad as portrayed right now. And even if it is I expect in 2 more years a lot of those Repubs/Tea Partyers who got swept in this time will get swept right back out again.

Why I'm such an ardent environmentalist

2010-09-06T17:13:00.001-07:00

While I'm not planning on selling my earthly goods and moving to a cave (although financially right now that would make sense) - I am pretty sensitive about environmental issues. I know I've got a ways to go myself but at least I know a lot of my deficiencies. Unlike the deranged man who tried to take over Discover Channel last week, I do think that some of the programs on Discover - especially on PlanetGreen do have an impact. The movie (which was an indie) on surface mining in Appalachia is really searing and very politically charged. It has even more impact now since the mining disaster earlier this year.

While perhaps things aren't quite as apocalyptical as some of the predictions from the 60's foretold, the truth is that with the ever increasing population we are running out of water and energy and while food shortages in one part of the world are made up for by other parts it won't always be this way. And while climate change more and more an issue this will become even more of a challenge. As for US energy dependency - the truth is that most of the in-ground oil has been depleted in the US - which is why they're doing deep-sea drilling and now starting to try to extract oil out of shale. The Middle East still has a lot of oil, but even that is supposed to run out within 25-30 years. I can't believe it took until this past year for the US to raise mpg standards for cars - but the world according to Bush was oil-centric. As long as he and Cheney as his buddies made money from oil to hell with the environment!

Happy September (sort of)

2010-09-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

For those of us on the East Coast it still feels like August as we are in what will (hopefully) be the last heat wave of the summer. School has started, it's almost Labor Day so we are progressing along.

High school seems to be going fairly well for IG. Getting up early bites bigtime but so far she is coping with it. She did catch a cold last weekend and she stayed home on Monday as she just couldn't seem to shake it. As I heard another of her friends say he was fighting one too I think her school must be germ city. But it doesn't surprise me after being exposed to 2000 kids all at once! She is feeling better but now poor Echo has some sort of respiratory infection. It started Monday night and she has the worst g-dawful cough. I was hoping it would clear up in a few days but as it hasn't I think dh is taking her to the vet today. Hopefully some antibiotics will take care of it. She probably picked it up at the dog park and since she is a poopeater I wouldn't be surprised if that is how she caught whatever it is she has.

In other news expenses keep rolling on in - haven't paid off any of the medical bills I owe (new retainer and dental) and now it looks like I have a slow leak in the front driver's side tire. Just 3 weeks ago the air light came on and the gas station took care of it. It went on again this morning and the station owner came out to help me put air in it. Very sweet but we are regular customers there and I think he was wondering too about why I would need air in the tire so soon again. His wife (daughter?) told him so he came out. They are the best people at this station and I would trust them completely.

Rosh Hashonah is in one week and I have a lot of things to think about for the New Year. At one point I wasn't feeling any sort of faith at all and my withdrawal from temple membership a year ago had sort of put a bad taste in my mouth. It is not that I am not a fan of organized religion, it is that I do not do well in group situations period. While everyone at the temple is very nice I had noticed a few cliques developing in the last several years there and the one real friend I had had left the temple several years ago so that made me feel rather isolated. As IG had dropped out of Hebrew School and dh with his schedule can't make services most of the time anyway I felt pretty alone there.

So I will do what I do best - use private prayer and worship in my own way at home.

Scary thought

2010-08-26T10:32:00.000-07:00

Lately IG and I have been getting along fairly well. High school is a big step for all of us, but so far so good. Getting up early is tough for her but it also gives her more free time in the afternoons and evenings. Yesterday she napped out for about an hour and it made her feel a lot better.

In good news (at least for me and dh) she seems to have broken off a bit from her long-time BFF. While there were things about her we liked, it seemed they always brought out the worst in each other and they would do things together they probably (or at least IG) would never do by herself. The "BFF" got into a snit about IG not spending enough time with her and ignoring her and her friends for her boyfriend - and this was posted on FB for all to see. But as IG's boyfriend says, she only wanted to get together when it was convenient for her and as I pointed out there were at least 4-5 times this past summer where either she was scheduled to sleep over and 1) she mouthed off to her Mom and got grounded; or 2) just plain changed her mind and bailed. So sorry no sympathy there. They are at least on speaking terms now but when I asked IG if she was still her BFF her answer was "sort of". Not exactly a ringing endorsement. To top this, the girl got herself in legal trouble by being in the same place as 2 boys painting some graffiti on a garage. I only shudder to think if IG had still been hanging around with her still this summer more.

While IG says she still hangs around with the same friends, I have gradually been noticing more and more different and better friends. She did have a couple of friends I've always liked but this past year (and more this summer) she has cemented friendships with more really good kids. Between us parents and her boyfriend (as I wrote below the best one ever) she is turning into the person we are hoping she will become. The butterfly is slowly coming out of the cocoon. There still is a ways to go but since a year ago most of the time I was not liking her at all this is a wonderful thing.

Slight redesign

2010-08-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

My old colors were getting well - old. I do need to some more sprucing up off the site (besides sprucing up of my finances).

Today was payday and unlike last month all the money isn't immediately gone (last month was car insurance AND car registration). I have decided to start putting $50/month into savings for car insurance so I don't get slammed like that again. Still waiting to hear about our bonus next month. Our boss was on vacation most of August and really isn't around that much to start with but hopefully with school starting now he'll be back in the office at least 2-3 times a week.

I still need to find some ways to get extra income. Also, with IG's earlier school schedule and the fact that she is a walker this year I am considering carpooling this year. That would save at least $40/month in gas - perhaps more.

What if you wrote a blog...

2010-08-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

and nobody ever saw it?

It is almost my blog but that is okay. It means I feel like I have less chance of privacy invaded and it can be more of a stream of consciousness thing. So even if nobody really reads it I'll continue to post now and then.

Sorry it's not more interesting and animated but I'm not good at keeping up patter.

A week off

2010-08-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

I am just here chilling which is nice as work has been so crazy hectic this whole summer. A new website we had to launch got launched on Monday (yeah!) so that pressure is off of us.

High school starts next work for IG - I am hoping that she will enjoy it as it can be sooooo much better than middle school. She got a peek at her schedule and she has a great teacher for Honors English! That will be a big plus as she ended up having a really good English teacher last year although at first it didn't seem like that was the case.

I'm still waiting for money to clear so I can return it to our checking so I can then use it for the credit card payment plus tideover until payday next week. Thank goodness dh still has some in his account as we're now down to $32! But I still want to go to the county fair - either today, or Thursday or Friday. Tomorrow is supposed to be literally washout so no fair tomorrow.

More frustration

2010-08-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

So in this case while it is my fault in some ways I feel taken advantage of. The money from the mutual fund finally got credited in our bank. Then we had the huge car repair bill. By then I had already arranged for a transfer to the Internet bank account. However, since it had been so long since I had deposited anything in there I had forgotten that it takes 5 BUSINESS DAYS before you can actually use your money. So the money is held hostage until next Wednesday and only then can I transfer some of it back.

I was and still am pissed and upset about this. I did check into a competitor and they hold it 3 days. That does sound more reasonable but I am beginning to wonder if the extra interest is worth it. Anyway I feel like an idiot for having done this since now our checking is down to nothing again due to the car repair bill, regular bills, and the electric bill was almost $300 this month due to the record heat.

Feeling scared...

2010-08-11T10:38:00.000-07:00

Let's just say our financial situation has about hit the fan. I am trying to figure out what to do next. It hasn't helped this last month or so with an emergency with Echo (tried to overdose on prescription-strength ibuprofen) and now over $800 in maintenance for dh's car.

It hasn't been easy all these years living on one income (mine) and it is only in the past 2 years or so that I have actually been making 1) What I think I'm worth; and 2) Enough to not have to suck all our savings yearly. That being said our expenses have now managed to max out both credit cards. And with the interest rates so high it feels like I never get any headway.

None of the options are good. We can't sell our house - it is not in good enough shape and we can't afford to fix it up (talk about a Catch-22). Credit counseling? Sell lots of stuff? The obvious solution is for both of us to work more. I am thinking of trying to take odd online jobs but haven't done that yet. Unfortunately my idea fall-back solution (Sunday sub at our local library) isn't an option anymore due to budget cutbacks. And I am even friends with the director and would have had a guaranteed job there. Dh does what he can but when he is miserable at something it makes us all miserable and his health issues are such that I don't wish to press it. I admit to not talking as much about finances to him as I should, but he always tries to guilt me about one issue which isn't productive so most of the time I don't bother.

Wish I had the guts to try an online fundraiser - but I know there are plenty of people in this economy with NO job and facing foreclosure so while our situation stinks it could be worse.

Best... boyfriend... ever?

2010-07-19T06:24:00.000-07:00

I have to post this here as IG is a FB friend. But every day I pinch myself because IG has a wonderful boyfriend. She started going out with him 8 months ago, and they have been going strong ever since. I didn't think someone as young as her (14, he's 15) could have such a good committed relationship but in her case I was wrong. Maybe we're doing something right after all.

He is smart, respectful, fairly responsible for his age and gets along great with us. Plus IG gets along great with his Dad. His Mom not as much, as his folks are separated and she has health issues.

When she first started going out with him, I was kind of afraid to tell her how much we liked him because as you know the kiss of death for a relationship with teens can be parental approval. But it didn't bother her and after seeing another friend sneak around with her boyfriend I think she is happy that she has never had to do that. We take them to movies, in fact, a couple of times I've gone with his Dad and the four of us have gone together (my dh has had to work then).

Speaking of dh, the boyfriend gets along great with him as they are both gamers. From the beginning the bf had wanted dh to get into this online space game and while dh was pretty busy with work for a while he has a bit of a lull now and he is playing it. So IG has become a gaming widow at times at a very young age...

We even took him along with up to Rochester for my cousins' wedding reception and frankly we let her do things with him (not sex) that I never would have imagined I would have with a 14-year-old. Although she has mentioned birth control before we haven't gone down that road quite yet. But when I think of the guys she could have ended up with I not only shudder but feel very blessed and thankful. Now I don't know if their relationship will be around for a long time although 8 months is like forever at their age. But even if they break up it bodes well for future relationships for her and I know that she is pretty picky about guys and I am hoping that someday she will end up happily married with a great guy for a husband!

Some "truths" that aren't....

2010-06-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

I love that you that people say well - you don't know what it's like to be somebody else. Everybody has their problems, etc., etc. blah blah blah. Of course that is true.

But then again... It goes along with the stupid platitude "G-d doesn't send you anything you can't handle." So not true - for one thing it isn't G-d anyway, it's life. And what about people who are mentally ill or become homeless etc. due to their circumstances? Obviously they couldn't handle things.

As for the saying about how everybody has their own problems again it's yes BUT...
For some people like me who never really felt like they were a part of anything you always feel like a failure to some extent. Since socially you never "got it" when you were younger then you spend the rest of your life trying to catch up. And guess what - maybe some people do but even for someone like me who probably would have been considered "mild" Asperger's you never totally catch up. It is a battle I've fought since I was small and I guess I'll be the loner at the nursing home someday too.

So here I am again disappointing people and never living up to what they want me to be and never will. Guess I should have never married - I probably could have adopted on my own at some point. But right now I am feeling like I am tired of it all and tired of the pain and tired of being in pain. Right about now I am jealous of my dogs even though they have their anxieties they are easily solved.

As for me (or the poverty sucks post)

2010-06-04T07:54:00.000-07:00

We are getting near the end of our readily available savings for covering monthly expenses. This is very troubling as I'll have to sell some of the mutual funds, probably in the next month or so. The combination of a smaller paycheck this last time (10 days instead of 11) and the almost $40 car insurance bill has left me with no reserves. Our credit cards are closed to being maxed out. While I used pretty much all the tax return and bonus money to make payments it never seems to make a real dent. And now IG wants to go to the beach for a few days - not sure if that will be possible.

Dh is working his butt off and this MAY lead to a full-time position in the fall if all goes well (which it seems to be for now) - so he has no time for anything else. I would be signing up for Sunday hours as the local public library but alas budget cuts have made that impossible. While I love selling on eBay and half.com it probably won't make enough of a difference so I think I need to think of other forms of income.

Poor Obama

2010-06-04T07:52:00.001-07:00

I mean it - he now has to deal with every screw-up of the previous administration and he will be getting blamed for problems if things don't all get fixed. Like that is possible.

Yes - Bush had to deal with 911 but Obama has to deal with: 1) 2 wars; 2) The recession; 3) The Gulf oil spill; 4) The mining disaster; 5) Immigration; 6) the moronic Tea-partyers.

If he can make headway on any or all of them it will be a good thing. But some people expect perfection. I think the audacity of hope still holds as the stakes seem to be that much higher now. If we can stay above water that is the best to expect right now.

Once again, a double standard

2010-05-14T07:28:00.000-07:00

Now I'm not one of those hyper-feminists but this is really pissing me off! All the talk about whether Elena Kagan is a lesbian.

#1. Who cares - I guess it would make a difference possibly in rulings about gay marriage and discrimination but as she is a liberal it doesn't really matter.

#2. What really gets me - did anybody question that of David Souter when he was nominated? He is a lifelong bachelor. I never heard boo about that. And I remember talk about Janet Reno when she was nominated. You never hear this about unmarried middle-aged men, but the minute a woman gets nominated boy does the speculation start!

SHUT UP ALREADY!!!!!

The Socialist States of America?

2010-03-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

Wow - you'd think the Commies have really taken over the way the GOP has reacted to the whole healthcare debate. And while they claimed that they wanted healthcare but in a different format they never put their money where their mouth was. Imperfect though the bill is, it's a start. And some states are planning on filing lawsuits to stop it? I'm wondering how much this will backfire in the November elections.

Obama is beginning to remind me more of FDR, who was both revered and hated at the same time for the New Deal. But think of what would have happened in the US due to no New Deal. There were already people starting to riot, and it would have turned into a total breakdown of society plus I'm sure race riots would have started (people would have made up a scapegoat for sure).

I "know" online someone who lives in middle-of-nowheresville Tennessee. Her husband is disabled and while they got some money from a car accident, I am sure they get SS disability and other things. I think she may work part-time but that's it. They have a daughter about to graduate from high school and a 1st grader. The boy went to Head Start in preschool, and I know they have gotten Tenncare before. When that was being cut off she complained about it. Now she is acting like healthcare will be the end of all civilized society and thinks the Tea Party is wonderful. While I am sure in many ways she is a nice person she is also very stupid. If the health care industry really collapsed she and her family would be the first to lose their benefits.

My great movie that will never be...

2010-03-15T06:18:00.000-07:00

On Saturday night I had dream about a great movie plot but alas my choices for cast won't work out. The movie takes place at at English boarding school. The main characters are played by the Harry Potter BFFs - Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint (Harry and Ron). They are members of a soccer (football) team. In comes the grizzled and curmudgeonly Scottish soccer coach (played by Sean Connery). Of course, in this heartwarming tale they go onto the championship against an Italian school. And of course they do win the championship after a lot of hardship and angst. Comic relief is added by one of the players who won't play without wearing his lucky socks which he won't wash. A crisis almost ensues when the socks are accidentally put in the laundry on the day of the championship. As it turns out they win even without his lucky socks.

The problem of course is that Daniel and Rupert are now too old to play high school boys (they're in their early 20's), and Sean Connery is also about 10 years too old (he's in his 70's). Does anybody have anyone who can take their places? So much for my "feel-good" movie of the year.

Blog will temporarily be on sick leave...

2010-03-01T09:23:00.000-08:00

While I get get over this &*()&( cold! I'm work but don't want to be but hope to get lots of rest anyway over the next couple of days.

Ahhhh-chooooo!!!!!!!

$40 left til payday (on Thursday)

2010-02-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

'nuff said

Say whaaatttt????

2010-02-16T13:59:00.000-08:00

Impromptugirl and I were at a local mall last night since school got cancelled yet again for today. I decided since it wasn't crowded to look in the pet store and ooh and ahh over the cute puppies. They had an American bulldog puppy in there who looked just like Echo. They were charging $1000! We only paid $350 from a good breeder (we got a $50 discount for her being a runt). I hate to imagine what if any health and/or behavioral problems this puppy has as it is most likely a puppy mill puppy. I am so grateful for Echo - she has been an unexpected blessing. At least once a day I feel like strangling her but that is slowly getting better. She is no longer feasting on shoes and articles of clothing - except if she is EXTREMELY bored or hyper.

Snowpocalypse: The Mini-Series

2010-02-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

For those of you who live under a rock, you might not know that we got 30" of snow on Friday/Saturday. While we have the cars dug out, still not the driveway nor the sidewalk.

Well, we're about to get more tonight/tomorrow and I mean MORE!!! Like 18" or more. Now that is how much the December storm totals were and that shut down this area for a long time. So now they'll be 40 inches on the ground here? What is this -Buffalo? Methinks the kids will be in school to July 4th.

Is the economy really turning around?

2010-01-29T13:53:00.000-08:00

Of course in certain respects yes - for instance my T. Rowe Price retirement and mutual funds which had totally tanked last year is pretty much restored to its former glory.

Anecdotally though I'd also say yes because I've been hearing about friends or coworkers spouses who have recently found jobs. And I've noticed that on some of the boards I belong to there have been more job postings. People of course are impatient and month-to-month statistics are meaningless.

For instance, housing starts were down in December but the weather was awful cold and snowy for at least the top 50% of the country so duh! Foreclosures are continuing but if people do slowly start to get jobs it might not be as bad. I don't understand people who walk away from their homes if they owe more than their loan. Now if you've lost your job yes - but if not then you just need patience to wait for housing prices to start to come back up. Maybe it'll take 10 years but they WILL go back up! When it comes to mortgages I've always been "old school" We had a 30-year fixed mortgage and when we refinanced after 10 years we got a 20-year fixed so we wouldn't increase the debt significantly. While we did use some to pay credit cards it wasn't nearly what it would have been if we had kept it 30 years.

Why doggy playdates are better than human ones

2010-01-25T10:52:00.000-08:00

1. While occasionally the dogs don't get along normally they do and you don't have to referee.
2. You always have something in common with the other dog's humans and they don't compare their dog with yours in the same way that humans compare each other's kids (and their kid is of course is way smarter or cuter or whatever)....
3. You don't have to worry about snacks for the dogs - although water will be necessary when the weather gets warmer.
4. While your dog may not be too happy about leaving, unlike a kid they don't usually whine and scream and cry all the way home...

My heavy heart

2010-01-22T09:15:00.000-08:00

I don't know if it's winter doldrums but I've been feeling kind of down this week, like all the weight of the world is upon me.

I am hoping that some more rest this weekend and a little bit of meditation and prayer will help.

I've got a feeling....

2010-01-19T13:52:00.000-08:00

Why do I feel like this will be one of those years where we'll have lots of expenses? It's only Jan. 19 and I think I'll be looking for a new stove shortly - current one has stupid things starting to go wrong with it. One of the burners is now unusable because the metal parts that hold it up came off. To replace that will cost as much as if I get a used one off of Craigslist that is a better one than what I've got.

Other things that could go...
1) Anything that is reachable by Echo and is tasty (by her standards).
2) The refrigerator is circa 1973 so could also go anytime. (knock on wood) Did they actually enact the Cash for Clunker Appliances tax credit?
3) The roof ....

Already gone...
1) Well - our whole house (see flooring electrical and plumbing)
2) The walls - we now have 3 holes that need drywall work. The first was due to another copper pipe leak. Then I punched a hole in the wall on the stairs with my elbow catching myself falling down it. Then last week a certain puppy whose initials are E-c-h-o got bored and started ripping up the wall by the door! Arrrghhh!

On the other hand we do have some fairly new things too that should last us a while.
1) The cars (new Scion xB), Mitsubishi is 2002 but in great shape.
2) New doors as of Jan. 8th (yeah!)
3) Furnace and hot water heater in good shape. Had minor repair work on furnace last couple of years but that was it.
4) Bathroom plumbing - just fine and Impromptugirl's bathroom still looks great (except for all her crap all over the floor....)

The good, the bad, and the bulldog

2010-01-12T11:11:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! Starting out the year with mixed blessings.

Good side:
1. My promotion in November. It is working out well and I'm learning more and more every day.
2. Dh's sound design career. Not really lucrative but he has had steady work pretty much all last year and this year is going that way too. I think with the economy the way it is these days any job in the arts is a blessing.

Bad side:
1. Impromptugirl is having serious problems in geometry. We'll probably have to get her a tutor. I am feeling guilty in that I haven't been as focused on all that as I should be. But then, by the time I was in middle school my parents pretty much left it all to me unless I specifically asked for help. But when I was practically failing Algebra I in 8th it got to my self-esteem and I started doing badly in my other courses too. I did turn myself around in 9th grade thank goodness.
2. Feel like I'm in a financial hole I can't get out of. I know we need to budget more but every time I get a raise at the same time health insurance goes up - and this year it went up almost 20%! Plus gas is now going back up again. On the good side I can totally work from home now.

Mixed:
1. IG has a boyfriend now. I am putting that as mixed because it does make us very nervous. On the bad side I worry about what she'll do and if he'll break her heart. On the good side he seems to be a very nice guy and a bit of a computer geek. She could have done much worse.
2. Echo is a darling dog - and is very smart. But we do call her the "White Tornado" for a reason. She has chewed all of dh's headphones and yesterday got anxious and started tearing at the drywall near the front door! O---M----G!!!!

The subsuming of Thanksgiving into Christmas

2009-11-26T05:36:00.001-08:00

First - for anybody who actually reads my blog sorry that I haven't written in a while. Between puppy and teenager wrangling, my promotion, and everything else I just haven't felt like writing.

I have to give a big congratulations to the retailers for finally achieving what they've been striving for for years! Thanksgiving now has become a "minor Christmas" instead of a fully important holiday on its own. Now that we start getting Xmas ads right after Halloween, and Black Friday is now the most important shopping day of the year Thanksgiving has been getting pushed aside more and more. And it has been so gradual that many people haven't noticed and for kids it is now entirely normal!

So for those of you who believe in Thanksgiving as a beautiful, non-sectarian, all-family holiday I wish you all the best warmest yummiest holiday ever!

Not everyone in the world is bad....

2009-10-21T10:25:00.000-07:00

In fact - I am pretty impressed and proud of where I live at the moment. I had lost a library book at the Dutch Market several weeks ago. I left it in a cart, and by the time I realized it it was too late as they are only open Wed-Sat. I went back the next Friday evening and they didn't have it.

So I went and bought a replacement copy and went to 'fess up at the library last night. It turns out that somebody had found it and turned it into them! So I didn't owe them anything.

Kind of restores your faith in humanity. I have been sending out lots of good karma to whoever returned my book...

The idea of a "greater good" and health insurance

2009-10-14T13:54:00.000-07:00

I really get tired of the whole debate and the "what's in it for me side of things". Insurance companies have the gall to put out a report saying that it would "increase costs". Excuse me -but don't they do that every year anyway? This year my insurance went up $60/month in premiums and that is because my company put off for as long as they could a big increase but this time they had no choice.

I don't see how at first we can't possibly not pay more to get everybody covered - but then the costs will get recouped over time. But everybody expects "instant". Yes the bill is flawed and supposedly will only cover 94% of people who don't have insurance. But that's 94% MORE people who will then have it. Nobody in Congress or the White House says it's a perfect bill but you have to start SOMEWHERE.

I understand with the deficit so large right now that people are also worried about that - but if the Bush administration hadn't let the economy explode and started 2 wars preemptively maybe it wouldn't be so bad now.

Why teenage girls need their fathers...

2009-10-02T12:16:00.000-07:00

Since I now have a teenage daughter, I feel even more reinforcement in my belief that all kids need their fathers - just for different reasons at different times. The father doesn't even have to live with them, but especially at the teenage stage if the kid goes to stay with their over the weekend it is a chance to take a breather from the mother-teen relationship.

I know that my mother could be pretty difficult to deal with sometimes - she could be very old school European and we often had that typical mother-daughter dynamic at that age. While I sometimes hated both my parents at that age, often I would go to my Dad to commisserate and complain about awful my mother was and how misunderstood I was. Usually my Dad would just listen - not do anything but just let me vent. He usually made me feel a lot better just by his presence.

I am noticing the same dynamic sometimes with Impromptugirl and my dh. While we've had our very rough times in our marriage, we've stuck it out and for the most part have resolved those issues. So while my dh is still having depression/sleep problems and isn't always up and active his presence is strongly felt and there have been many times lately where I know Impromptugirl has gone to him to vent. He will let her know if she's over the line but often he will commisserate with her and try to offer solutions or just let her vent. It is so important that a kid has that outlet instead of just their friends and/or using drugs, alcohol or sex.

I would like to believe that I am and will stay closer with Impromptugirl than I was with my own mother. My dear recently deceased cousin Anne (who was my mother's 1st cousin) told me a while ago that she felt that my mother never 'got' me and it was like we were from different families. But as I was dealing with what I believe now is Asperger's it is very understandable that she would have trouble relating to me - especially since she was very outgoing.

It don't matter if you're black or white

2009-09-26T14:04:00.001-07:00

Why it is that???

2009-09-16T13:38:00.000-07:00

1. Condensed chicken soup actually tastes BETTER than canned chicken soup that hasn't been condensed? I have decided to give up that kind of soup - it always has a weird sulfury taste to it. It must be the preservatives - but why condensed soup doesn't taste like that I have no idea. So it's either condensed or homemade for chicken soup for me!
2. I am terrible at just keeping a steady supply of food at the house? Either we're bulging at the seams in the fridge or the cupboard is bare.

So instead of trying out for softball...

2009-09-05T07:37:00.001-07:00

Impromptugirl decided to get this to occupy her time...

Echo - a 3 1/2 month old American bulldog.

Ode to a Dead Cell Phone

2009-08-29T13:59:00.000-07:00

My Razr was stolen
I felt distraught
A new phone I needed
On freecycle I sought

A nice person answered
They had an old LG
No bells or whistles
But at least it was free

Alas, no more camera
Or ringtones to choose
I had to use what was on there
On that I had the blues

But one day you decided
You'd had enough of this life
So wouldn't even dial out
Enough of this strife

So off to the phone store
A new phone was bought
With a camera and ringtones
And to home it was brought

You lived a good life phone
So for you I don't mourn
I like my new phone now
I am feeling reborn

California bloggin'

2009-08-15T10:00:00.000-07:00

Well, we're back and had a great time! My cousins were wonderful hosts and I guess we were good guests too since we got invited to come back anytime! We did Universal Studios, Huntington Beach, and Santa Monica Beach. We also saw my 94-year-old aunt several times. She is feeling rather lonely since my uncle died only a year ago. I hope she adjusts to the assisted living place.

The weather was beautiful - better than it was in DC for at least a couple of days. I am a bit tired but plan to catch up on sleep this week!

California here I come!

2009-08-04T09:11:00.000-07:00

At the crack of dawn no less - but will be in LA area by 10:30 or so. I hate these early morning flights but it is cheap! On the way home we won't get back until after midnight.

I'm not a very good plane sleeper but I'll do my best in both directions. On the way out our connection is Detroit (oh joy!), but the way home we connect in Denver and that should be very pretty. I look forward to showing impromptugirl the Rockies at least from afar.

It's been a good week

2009-07-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

I feel like we've got our daughter back. Not one argument this week, and we all went out as a family to see the new Harry Potter movie! We all really liked it! I don't know whether it's because she sees with us putting her in therapy that we're serious about making changes or our other changes.

1. With some trepidation we've started looking at puppies. Impromptugirl really wants her own dog and with her attitude changes I think it she is beginning to earn it. We saw the perfect puppy last weekend but because it was part pitbull, and they've banned them in our county we couldn't adopt her. We were all so upset about it - I think Max would have gotten along fine with her. She was soooooo sweet with such a calm quiet temperament. And she would have grown to perfect size seeing how the mother was.

2. We're going to California! Just dd and me - the hubby has to stay and work on weekends. We're staying at my cousin's in the Orange County area for a week. Tickets were maybe just a little more than I wanted to pay, but since we won't have to rent a car (superyeah!) I didn't feel as bad. I think dd seeing that in fact we are trying to meet her needs a little more is good too.

3. My promotion IS coming through although bossman forgot to submit my review. But I'm hoping that the increase plus retroactive will be in effect next payday. The STG side of the equation is very conscientious and she will make sure the review gets signed and submitted early next week. With this promotion will come more responsibilities and also more ability to effect things which I like. I will eventually have some supervisory duties which is fine. I don't do well supervising lots of people but a small group is just fine. And since I do love everybody I work with it'll be great.

4. While dh is feeling a little down still I think he is seeing that his philosophy changes have made a positive difference and while he is still recovering from his marathon workload. Next week a friend of his is flying in from Phoenix and I think that will help a lot too.

Not saying things are hunky-dory yet but...

2009-07-18T18:11:00.001-07:00

I am seeing some glimmers of hope on the horizon.

Dh came to a bit of an epiphany this week after hearing the same opinions on Impromptugirl from a number of people he respects. This made me feel SOOO much better and now we are on the same page as to our philosophies and attitudes. It is nice to have harmony again in our marriage.

Impromptugirl herself seems to have heard and understand some of the things we were saying to her after some not so nice incidents this last week. I am hoping it keeps up and we will be having another counseling session on Monday which will hopefully further reinforce things.

I also talked to my dearest cousin Dennis who agreed with our handling of things. I trust him implicitly since as I told him on the phone, she is reminding me quite a bit of him when he was that age. And that isn't exactly good.

What's new and on my mind....

2009-07-11T16:58:00.000-07:00

1. Impromptugirl is the main focus these days - some days her behavior is almost respectful. I wish I knew what to do... which is why we've started counseling. I am praying that things will improve, although I know it will be slow progress. But right now I am feeling very scared about everything. It of course effects our marriage too.

2. Still feeling broke - however with resigning from the temple, only 3 more ortho payments, plus bonus hopefully next month and a promotion I am hoping to put a dent in the credit cards. Unfortunately we've had to use them some lately - especially the one that isn't near the limit at all. I have been selling some on half.com and eBay, but it's not enough to make much of a dent (maybe a meal at Mickey D's or breakfast at Dunkin Donuts).

3. Some days it feels like I have no friends. Makes me very jealous of Impromptugirl who can do it at the drop of a hat. I never "got" being a teen when I was one so how am I supposed to handle raising one?

4. Dh is heading towards the last week of being very very busy and will be down to just 1 show shortly. It will free up his weekdays. And with my increased leave time (yahoo!) I can take more time off this summer too.

And the week ends with another weird and sad note

2009-06-28T11:05:00.001-07:00

Billy Mays is reported as having died today. His wife found him - probably a heart attack.

Very sad and also another contemporary of mine as far as age.

It's been a strange, tragic, weird week

2009-06-26T05:46:00.000-07:00

First, it started with the Metro train accident - how horrible that has been and it just shows why the Federal Government needs to get out of DC's business.

Then, the almost simultaneous deaths of Ed McMahon, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. It is a blessing that Farrah passed - she had suffered long enough. I just fear that Ryan O'Neal will retreat back into the bottle never to come out again.

As for Michael Jackson - I had heard last month that he was hospitalized so it seemed like he was on the rapid decline. However, this was rather sudden. What a weird life he had!

Several observations

2009-06-11T09:45:00.000-07:00

1. Bumper sticker I've seen around a little bit - "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Sarah!" Say what? Um, aren't you the morons who got us in this mess in the first place?
2. Why does it have to be so hard to find a therapist for Impromptugirl? I asked one of the partners of our old therapist for a couple of names. He thought they were part of our insurance group but as it turned out they're not. We went for an initial consult, and I also brought a printout of names in the network. They did recommend about 10 of them. I also called our old therapist who is getting somebody for her dd but I have no idea if they are part of our plan either. I hate cold-calling, am somewhat phone phobic to start with and it just bites. I know other people go through the same thing but for me it seems especially hard.

WHFS-lite?

2009-06-08T13:31:00.000-07:00

1. After what was left of WHFS radio (from 104.7) was cut into pieces, stuffed into a garbage bag and then thrown out of an airplane, it didn't seem there was much left for us alternative rock types in the DC area. However, I had heard and it's true that the only "heir" is WRNR. WRNR is an Annapolis-based station which makes me think perhaps it's in the old HFS headquarters? The program manager and main DJ there is Bob Waugh, who was at WHFS "back in the day". Also Rob Timm is another DJ who was there too. It is nice to hear an old familiar voice, since I miss Weasel and Cerphe so much. I just hope they are doing well. I do see what Schelby is doing through Facebook but she was a newbie and is back in California where she belongs.

2. Another observation on Impromptugirl. After 2 weekends where the main focus of her time was spent with what I think are better friends than what was her BFF her behavior has improved tremendously. The attitude is slowly coming along too but but it is keeping her accountable for letting us know where she is and who she's with. This year has been her first taste of real freedom with us letting her go out by herself so in some ways it's natural that she maybe got a little drunk on it. We babyboomers were always allowed to roam the neighborhoods ourselves - even my overprotective mother let me do that as long as she knew who I was with. But since Impromptugirl wasn't allowed to do it until last year it has been a bit of an adjustment. As for her BFF, I think she is beginning to realize how exhausting it can be to be around her - while it can be fun her BFF is very high-maintenance and seems to have a knack for getting herself in trouble at the drop of a hat. The friend has already been in detention numerous times, and got herself suspended 2 weeks ago for 3 days. I can't imagine me ever having done that, and my daughter frankly can't either. As Impromptugirl says, she has better things to do with her time and she also thinks skipping school is stupid too. As a matter of fact, I was happy to know that at least the school secretary there thought well of her. So perhaps she will end up with a decent report card for 4th quarter too.

Book review and other stuff

2009-06-06T04:59:00.000-07:00

I finally got around to reading "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. I've always read rave reviews about it and her descriptions of grief and denial the year after her husband just dropped dead of a heart attack before dinner. To compound that her daughter was already in the hospital with an acute staph infection and pneumonia, and ended up dying from complications 18 months later (although her passing is not in the book). It is all very sad and it is interesting to read it from the perspective of somebody who is rich and famous and leads a very charmed life suddenly get a piano dropped from the sky onto her head. From the photos of her, grief has taken its toll and I am sure she is spending these years feeling lonely. I hope she finds some comfort in her friends and extended family.

In other news:

1. I waver from despair through hope that Impromptugirl will start changing her attitude and actions. She does seem to have made a new friend who is much less into the bad scene than some of the others. I still can't get her to do any outside activities but that will be coming. I am looking into counseling for all of us and hope to get her into some sort of peer group with positive reinforcement.
2. The sun is actually out today!
3. I was going to do a yard sale this morning, but I was too depressed to get my act together on it. Besides, the ground is still so saturated I figured it wouldn't be much fun standing out there when it is like that. Hopefully next weekend.
4. My sinus infection is much much better - as long as I get some sleep.
5. Maxdog is still the greatest creature in the universe and will always be.

I hate this kind of cold

2009-05-31T10:16:00.001-07:00

I caught my daughter's cold, and at first it looked like it wasn't going to be as bad but it actually has gotten that way. And I overdid it yesterday so I'm paying for it now.

It's a chest cold and I'm coughing lots. But the worst part is that I'm feeling pretty tired, but not tired enough to just sleep the day away but I don't have energy for much more than sitting around watching TV. The lawn needs mowing - no way. The windows need cleaning and I was going to do other spring cleaning chores - nope not today. And of course I'll be much better for work tomorrow.

Oh and our A/C decided to stop working yesterday. It blows air but the compressor doesn't turn on so it's not too effective. I just hope it can be repaired quickly (by Tuesday as the high will be 89) and not too expensive (fat chance on that one...):-(

5 Top reasons why I love Facebook

2009-05-28T16:33:00.000-07:00

1. I'm in touch with people I would never otherwise keep up with - including a couple of high school people I haven't seen in over 30 years.
2. I can keep in better touch with my closer friends.
3. It has fun games and quizzes. Some of the games I have gotten sick of and got rid of but others are still fun.
4. You can send private messages or broadcast all over the place.
5. You get birthday wishes from all your friends (which I have today...)

On credit cards, as in "I don't get it"....

2009-05-19T12:10:00.000-07:00

So Congress has finally realized that waiting a year more for the credit card regs to kick in is stupid and disastrous for the economy. What part of "If you raise our interest rates we really won't be able to pay the balance off" don't they get? And raising rates and lowering credit limits for GOOD customers? Okay - I guess they don't make any profits off of them but eliminating them means that in the future if they ever do need ot make a big purchase they won't be able to.

I admit that we have a huge cc balance but if push came to shove we could pay it off with financial penalties for taking money out of retirement, etc. But I am trying desperately to get to the point where we don't live paycheck to paycheck.

Obama and the car companies

2009-05-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

So the Obama Admin has finally sent US car companies their "bill due" charges and raised the average mpg to 35 by the year 2016. The question is whether the US car companies can really do that. I heard a right-wing DJ this morning say that Americans are too in love with trucks and SUVs. However, in Europe they've managed a much higher mpg on cars and they don't all just drive tinny little cars.

The truth is - Americans DO buy small cars. However, they buy Toyotas and Hondas and Hyundais and Nissans for small-car reliability. You couldn't get me to touch a GM car with a 10-ft pole - the few GMs I've inherited always broke down quickly and cost a fortune to maintain. We loved our Ford Escort though (it did have a Mitsubishi engine) and if I had been able to stand the sound of the turn signal, I might have bought a Ford Fusion. But I am thrilled about their new hybrid and if and when the time comes around to buy a new car I would be happy to buy another Ford. My Mom's Galaxy 500 lasted forever and was built like a tank! So to me it is no surprise that the only US car company that will be left standing is Ford.

Sometimes it sucks to be me (warning - long, pitiful whine)

2009-05-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

This weekend was supposed to have been a lot of fun, but instead it made me feel like a total loser. Impromptugirl and I went to a friend's son Bar mitzvah. Impromptugirl had gone to Hebrew school with him for several years until both of them left. However, the boy continued on with private tutoring while Impromptugirl totally stopped all Jewish education.

The ceremony was very nice, and the boy did beautifully. Afterward, we went to a building across the street (it was a huge complex) for the reception. The way the reception was set up some of the tables were inside, and others were outside.

While I knew some of the other people from temple, of course there were many people I didn't know. Impromptugirl and I ended up sitting on a far bench by ourselves with several other tables and benches nearby, but we were still kind of isolated. Impromptugirl was busy texting her friends and not socializing although most of the kids there were her age, and she knew the bar mitzvah boy plus several others.

Seeing as I knew some of the people, but since I couldn't sit and talk with them, made me feel really isolated and alone. Impromptugirl wanted to go anyway to hang out with her friends and since I was starting to feel awful we just left right after I ate the lunch. So we didn't stay for the fun parts of it really. I have been feeling really bad and hurting ever since, and have been crying a lot, especially on Saturday.

While I have improved so much with my social interactions from when I was younger, there are still some social situations that with my Aspergers I don't cope very well. If dh had been there it probably would have been okay, but he had a matinee that day plus an evening show. I don't know if going back into therapy would help, but right now I feel pretty crappy. I guess there are some people who totally outgrow Asperger's, but I believe for most of us there are too many scars and hidden fears. Since I grew up before anybody had ever heard of it, and I've never been officially diagnosed there are still some areas for which I have problems.

Stupid Kid Trick

2009-05-14T10:25:00.001-07:00

Early last evening (around 7:30) she was at a local playground with several of her friends and got on this revolving swing thing (sorry I can't be more descriptive than that). Apparently she got on TOP of it (stupid move #1), then let someone spin it real fast (stupid move #2) - she fell off, bumped her head, and I guess when she was breaking her fall must have twisted her wrist. She comes home and her wrist is really hurting and she says she is having trouble remembering what happened that day.

So we head off to urgent care - in the meantime her memory does come back. They take x-rays and nothing looks broken although they were going to confirm that with their radiologist today. The dr. also checks out to make sure she had no head trauma since dh was freaking out about that. We let her stay home today because it was her right hand so she was going to have trouble writing today. But she has to go to school tomorrrow and especially Monday, when they take their HSA (High School Assessment) in algebra. But the dr. said no PE for a week.

Amazing - An Extended Warranty that will pay off

2009-05-12T16:25:00.000-07:00

Knowing how gentle (yeah-right) Impromptugirl is with her stuff (like the time she dropped her cell phone on the street and it was totally trashed)... when dh bought her her digital camera for Xmas/Hanukkah he got the extended warranty from Ritz which basically covers ANYTHING (well, maybe not dumping it in a vat of acid). She has been using her camera lots to take lots of pictures of nothing in particular (how many shots of BFF or herself can you take?) She did admit dropping it several times, but nothing like the time she dropped her Dad's camera at the Grand Canyon (but not into it and the lens cracked).

Anyway, yesterday she found out that when you turn the camera on the lens doesn't come out and it even gives a "lens malfunction" message. So now the camera needs to either be repaired or they might actually replace it if it can't. As it was around $100, it may not be worth it...

There was a little girl...

2009-05-05T16:54:00.000-07:00

Everyone knows the poem "There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good, she was very good, but when she was bad she was horrid."

Well, that has described impromptugirl to a t ever since she was very small. Most of the time she was angel girl, but occasionally she'd be devil child. There was no "just a little naughty" with her.

This trend has continued into her newly minted teen years and we had to come down hard on her. I am hoping though that she is starting to understand that doing stupid things does have consequences. Even then, she is always good at school and somehow managed to just make Honor Roll this quarter again. She saves her rotten rebellious behavior for us.

I am contemplating putting her into some counseling but I think I will wait until next week to see if devil teen comes back.

Another 7-yr cycle begins

2009-05-03T15:16:00.000-07:00

This may sound weird, but my life has seemed to run on 2 different 7-yr cycles, 1 not so good, and the other 3 years later pretty wonderful, but only at the cost of a crappy couple of years. Unfortunately it seems like I am once again at the beginning of a crappy cycle. The trick this time is not let it get to me and to not be afraid to ask for help when I need it right away.

My birthday is coming up at the end of the month, and this is definitely the one where the cycle "bad" cycle starts. However, the last 9 years or so the cycle seemed to be off - 7 years ago nothing of consequence happened, and then in 2005 AND 2006 I got laid off and that was pretty traumatic. So it looks like my cycle is somewhat back. I am hoping this time around that I know how to deal with it all better.

Well, well, well....

2009-04-28T13:07:00.000-07:00

Wonderful news about Arlen Spector. This may be Obama's greatest "100 day' accomplishment, not that 100 days is really meaningful.

All I can do is quote my boss from his email to me and a couple of other Dem coworkers...

"MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!"

Weird, weird dreaming last night

2009-04-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a dream seem so real it either wakes you right up, or act on it after waking up? I apparently dreamt last night that my dh came into the room about 2:45 am and told me to turn the light on. This happens rarely if he can't find something late at night or has some other emergency. He's been on a night schedule lately.

Well, I wake right up and turn my light on. And then wait and wait for him to come back up and after about 10 minutes I go downstairs. Well, he's actually doing some of his sound design work and had his headphones on and no- he did NOT come upstairs and say that!!!! He was kind of surprised to see me lol.

It's been a VERY stressful week so I guess it's not surprising my mind is playing tricks on me at night.

A new product is coming onto the market!

2009-04-18T16:31:00.000-07:00

You all know Oxyclean, well I present to you something even better....

DoxieClean

It is guaranteed to clean any food that hits the floor anywhere completely and make it sparkling clean. And in record time! It will also clean your plates which makes dishwashing a breeze!

Signs that the economy really is turning around...

2009-04-15T06:23:00.001-07:00

I saw my first lendingtree.com commercial in months!!!!

Miscellaneous news items

2009-04-11T06:44:00.000-07:00

1. Who knew a Scion XB would make a good getaway car?

2. A reasonable reaction to the 5K+ phone bill - even Impromptudaughter thought putting a hammer to the phone was reasonable. In continuing proof how classy Verizon is, apparently they lowered the charges.

It is a rainy Saturday morning around here, but my cold has finally gone away. However, because I vacuumed and dusted yesterday my allergies are acting up, but the rain should help that.

My Verizon wireless bill victory

2009-04-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

We are refugees from Sprint. We switched to Verizon a couple of years ago after I'd about had it with them. Their service in the DC area sucked rocks, and at least in our area they had the rudest, most incompetent people at their Sprint store.

By contrast, you walk into the Verizon and it has the air of luxuriousness (although it's not) and maybe the most telling sign is NO LINES!!!!

My daughter had gone way over her limit in the first week of the billing month for texting, so I upgraded it. When I got the bill, they had charged us for it to the tune of $100 extra, even though with the upgrade she was well within the limit. Well, on Tuesday I called them and talked to a really nice customer service rep. Yep - they exist, and this one was definitely not in India. lol So she agreed without any issues to eliminate those charges. She said it could take up to 72 hours, but it was in our online account within 2! I can't imagine Sprint letting me do that.

OMG!!!! I'm the mother of a teenager!

2009-03-26T14:38:00.000-07:00

Not that she hasn't been acting like one for almost a year now anyway... But it is her birthday today and she is officially 13!

I've been dreading this time. Not so much all the teen years, but the early ones. 13 was my worst year and you couldn't pay me 1 million to go back. I hated school, the other kids were all awful to me and to each other, the teachers sucked and I wasn't too thrilled with my parents either (especially my mother). Things got better once I hit high school but junior high was a miserable experience for me.

Impromptugirl is a bit more (make that a lot) more social than I was and seems to be attuned into other kids but I know she still gets moody a lot, hates school somedays and hates us somedays. I am hoping since she started this early, it will also end a little early too.

Pray for me....

Countdown to disaster...

2009-03-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

I've heard that the "Octomom" has thrown out the group that offered to help her take care of the babies and the other children. I will not call her Octomom after this as that makes me think of an octopus mother with 8 legs, and she is not an octopus and she has 14 children not 8.

If she wasn't a nutjob before, having 14 kids will drive you over the edge and I will be taking bets at how many days before the California Child Protective Services steps in. Those kids deserve way better than what they will be getting as a parent.

Anybody????

I give it maybe 2 weeks at most...

Help Wanted - Experienced Refuse Collectors

2009-03-22T17:27:00.000-07:00

Once again, the space shuttle is worried about space junk. I think they need a space garbage scow, similar to the one in the 1970's classic science fiction spoof "Dark Star"...

I'm so confused!

2009-03-19T18:06:00.001-07:00

Washington Post headline: Bill to tax bonuses from firms in bailout may drive them away.

And the problem with that would be?????? Ummmm if their corporate culture is so screwed up that they get bonus pay regardless of their individual and corporate performance than yep perhaps they DO deserve to go under. Or maybe they've got a bit more money in reserve than they're telling the feds.

I have just recently received a bonus for the first time in my whole working life (that's 25 years or so....) and I got it because I did do my job well. I don't see the auto company employees getting bonuses or higher salaries, and they are working their butts off trying to save the companies.

This is what 8 years of a govt. administration being in bed with Wall Street does to the economy. I never thought I'd ever hear about failing banks in my lifetime. I mean, wasn't the FDIC created to stop that? Still - without the FDIC the meltdown would be much worse and in fact the FDIC head is one of the best people out there in the financial world right now.

He who laughs last...

2009-03-13T13:36:00.000-07:00

I am feeling very amused by the whole brou-ha-ha over our wonderful ex-lt. governor Michael Steele in his role as head of RNC. He ran a lousy campaign for senator last time around, so I guess he did learn something when he ran for RNC head. But oh my goodness the whining and squeaking and squawking from the GOP establishment! I am really giggling over it all for every time Steele opens his mouth they get all cranky. Poor Steele, he hasn't done anything wrong he just happens to be the latest available scapegoat.

Haven't they learned anything from watching the Dems the last 4-8 years? Many of us weren't too thrilled to have Howard Dean as the head of the DNC, but we sucked it up and let him try and do his job. As it turned out, he went beyond expectations and worked pretty well with the coalition to get the presidency back in our hands. But I guess the GOP is too busy fighting among themselves as to what their message really is. The Dems had that problem too but we kept our eye on the ball and got it done. I don't have any confidence that the GOP will do the same. (insert evil laugh here...)

Saw the first robin of the season yesterday....

2009-03-11T11:14:00.000-07:00

If we're not going to get any more snow- then let spring begin!

Finally got some snow - gotta share.

2009-03-05T16:13:00.001-08:00

One of the funniest phrases in the English language...

2009-03-05T16:10:00.000-08:00

DOG BUTT

The beginning of the end...

2009-02-25T12:13:00.000-08:00

After the way things have been this last month and from fall on (pretty crappy overall), it feels like things are finally starting to turn around for me both personally and also with the country. We're certainly not out of the woods yet, but there is finally light at the end of the tunnel.

Personally:

1. The bonus (yes really!!!) should be coming next paycheck and it will be pretty substantial. It will definitely help with the credit cards next month, which has felt pretty hopeless as far as paying them down.
2. Dd's braces are at the beginning of the end. She had her check-up last Thursday, and the doctor said she is doing well. He put in spacers so that next time they'll put in the last of the bands towards the back. Also, I checked how much I still owe, and with the last insurance payment (yeah for that!) I have about 6 more payments left.
3. After 2 mega electric bills (1 $421, this month will be $372) the weather has finally turned and it should hopefully be about $100 less next month.
4. While I'm not expecting much, I do think we'll be getting a little bit of a refund this year for taxes. Plus in April I'll be getting a little more in my paycheck although it won't be too much.

Nationally:
1. While there are certainly some parts of the stimulus package that aren't great, compared to the alternative (which would have been nothing or perhaps just tax cuts under a McCain administration) I do think it will make an impact by early summer. Some of the things in there are so wonderful such as extending COBRA so that laid off people only have to pay 35%. I know for many people that will make a HUGE difference.

It really gets me to hear some people say that Roosevelt tried this during the Depression, and it still took WWII to pull us totally out of it. However, what those people fail to state is that if Roosevelt hadn't provided his work programs and other aid, many in the country would have starved or lost their homes and while there was already some riots and protests going on, it would have endangered the Union. Who knows, if he hadn't provided aid we might have gone Communist!

Yeah for Bristol Palin!!!

2009-02-17T08:04:00.001-08:00

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/us_world/NATL-Bristol-Palin-on-Abstinence.html

I hope this makes an impact on people.

Why I'm broke already 4 days after being paid...

2009-02-14T09:55:00.000-08:00

Electric/Gas bill for $421.10

Oh and Happy Valentine's Day...

Random observations...

2009-02-11T19:20:00.000-08:00

1. Dog backwards is G-d, but cat backwards is tac... (makes you think, huh)
2. It is possible to have retroactive math anxiety. Trying to "help' dd with her algebra is giving me bad flashbacks.
3. It is possible to be dumb and high-strung and temperamental, but if you're intelligent, there's at least 50% chance of that. While dd was always pretty easy-going as a child, that side of her personality is emerging now that she is turning into a teenager.
4. I learned today that in India people drink ginger ale too to settle an upset stomach.

World's most boring blog?

2009-02-10T15:46:00.000-08:00

I'm not nearly as witty as some of the blogs I frequent, or full of political punditry and definitely not as bossy and I definitely don't write as much as I should.

What's "up" right now..

1. I've been very busy at work (a very good thing)
2. Dd made honor roll this quarter, which is great especially with her pulling her grade up to a B in Algebra! Right now she is dealing with slopes, y-intercepts and all this crap for which I have no memory of. Luckily dh is able to help her. In other subjects though I am just fine helping her. I've been riding on her on learning Spanish so she is starting to get a little better with that.
3. I am getting over a 24-hour stomach bug from unkown origin.
4. Dh is very busy with 3 different sound design jobs - 1 which isn't paid but will hopefully land him more connections. And just about everybody he worked with last year has called him about something or another this year already!
5. The bonus won't be coming for another month (sigh).
6. I've collected stuff together for taxes but won't attempt it until this weekend.

What part of "we won" don't you get???

2009-01-29T06:14:00.000-08:00

I was a bit amazed that 0 GOP Reps voted for the Stimulus Package. Okay - I understand that there was some "pork" or entitlements that you people objected to. But we've tried your way for 8 years and see how well that turned out!

I also realize that Nancy Pelosi isn't maybe the most diplomatic of Speakers and is known for being a bit arrogant and probably was a bit smug. But whatever happened to bipartisanship?

The Science Fair Blues

2009-01-24T10:15:00.001-08:00

Sung to whatever blues melody you like...

I got them ever lovin' Science Fair Blues
I guess I got to pay my parenting dues
I would rather be out buying shoes
But instead I've got those Science Fair Blues

Oh my kid thinks that I'm being mean
Forcing her to do make the science scene
And even though there's no gun to her head
She looks as if she wishes I were dead

I got those ever lovin' Science Fair blues...

The two most beautiful words in the English language right now...

2009-01-20T10:06:00.001-08:00

PRESIDENT OBAMA

Fashion Friday

2009-01-16T11:02:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about looks that have come back. Fashion recycles after 20 years - some for good and some for bad. For instance, I think 70's fashion mostly sucked (believe me I was there...) while the 80's and 90's were a lot more reasonable. There were some fun things too in the 60's and 70's but some things (like platform shoes, leisure suits, bouffant hair should NEVER EVER EVER come back!!!)

There are a couple of exceptions that I am very pleased about however:

1. Sweater jackets/coats: I had one that I loved 20 years ago and unfortunately a couple of years ago it finally bit the dust. I was thrilled to see them in the store in Fall 2007, and was able to get one that wasn't ever worn at the thrift store for very cheap. If I could - I'd get at least 2-3 more of them! They are awesome.

2. Real knee socks - not what they were calling them. My dd started buying some at places like Hot Topic and they really do go all the way up to the knee - just like when I was a kid. I couldn't resist and bought some on sale at Tarjet. I'm wearing some now - I love them! They keep my legs so much warmer, especially needed now with the deep freeze we're in.

And my last editorial comment on the punk/goth look. The fact that Hot Topic exists at all means the punk/goth movement has "sold out" and is not really a movement anymore and barely a fashion statement. It's been around for 30 years now and has lost most of its shock value. At least piercings aren't permanent but tattoos are very regrettable, usually within a couple of years or receiving them.

A Plea to the Snow Gods

2009-01-13T15:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Snow Gods,

What did I do to slight you? Up north, just a mere 60 miles away over the PA line they have been getting tons of snow all season, and what we do get here in DC? Squat! Plus we often get the really cold weather but no snow to go along with it.

Please please Snow Gods, I will do whatever you want to get snow to come here. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me and anybody else how offended I beg that you do so.

Faithfully yours,
Impromptublogger